Mon Enfant d’argile by Carine Valette

"Endometriosis can come with infertility. Here is mon Enfant d’argile (my clay Child).

For a time before my operation, a doctor said that with clay cataplasms every night during two months my hydrosalpinx (liquid in a tube) will disappear, so without doubt surgeons won’t have to ligate the tube. After 2 months sleeping with clay on my belly topped by a hot-water bottle, I woke up from surgery with zero tubes. The left had been ligated as planned and surprise! They had removed the right tube, it would help for a beautiful test-tube baby. Without knowing why, I kept all the argil I used for the poultices. Just before we began a first medically assisted procreation, my hands began to assemble the clay. To give it a new form. A totem. I put inside all magic that I could find standing around in my studio. Photos of Pavel and I, poetry, seeds, I also wrote simple words as an incantation so a baby could understand this welcome chant. Even our wedding rings. My baby clay was born. She is now 4 years old.

When it comes to infertility, remember that biological motherhood isn’t the only way to accomplish your destiny. The essence of life is to create. No matter the form it takes. Child is creation, Art is creation. As gardening, cooking, dancing, smiles or tears. I would have liked to realize sooner that I don’t have to give birth to be an accomplished Being. At the same time, I feel truly grateful for this inner process that helps me to discover who I am and who I want to be. To create.

I would like that my story helps to understand that before going in a marathon of medically procreation, it is essential to take time to connect to your body. So perhaps you won’t wake up as I did, mourned. Deliver your body to the medicine without consciousness can’t be the solution to self growth and love. Having a child begins with self love.

To women who can’t have child, I invite you. Travel inside your heart. There are many ways to be happy. After trying to be a mother at any costs, perhaps it is time to understand that a baby in your uterus isn’t your path in this life. And that’s ok. Even if it hurts, you’re allowed to be happy.

Note: clay is an amazing treatment, but do not expect as much as I did."

Carine Valette